Mum said, when she was small, grandmother always ordered her to collect abandoned offcuts from the rattan factory. "It is the most disgusting job that your grandmother asked me to do and I wasn't willing to do it." I could sense the exasperation in her voice as she recounted her experience.
Grandma had an entire collection of rattan pieces stored in that tiny wooden house, an unnecessary amount given that they only served one purpose. This resulted in them always being at her fingertips, result for when she was angry enough to whip her children for punishment. Mum said her skin was always covered with lashes, long and thin, centipede like.
She said she will never beat her own children because she understands it is unbearable.
Grandma believed children need to be punished with violence when they didn't obey the adults, if not they won't be a good person when they grow up.
Mum hates violence, but she also believes parents have rights to physically punish their children and grandchildren, or even their pets. She believes it is the way to manage the family, and showing the love. In her case, her only escape from her mum's 'love' was to marry into another family, which she did, hurriedly.
On the 22nd July, I was chatting with mum over the phone, she suggested that It might not be a good idea to return to visit my family this year and that perhaps moving back home in the later future would be unwise too.
I asked her if we really have a grandfather, why he can shoot his grandchildren, she answered it is because he is the Head of the family. But I believe she knows it is not about love, it is only about power. Although she believes that grandad is entitled to do this and that disagreeing with him is wrong, she is now asking me to run away.