Grandma's Beater

Mum said, when she was small, grandmother always ordered her to collect abandoned offcuts from the rattan factory. "It is the most disgusting job that your grandmother asked me to do and I wasn't willing to do it." I could sense the exasperation in her voice as she recounted her experience.

Grandma had an entire collection of rattan pieces stored in that tiny wooden house, an unnecessary amount given that they only served one purpose. This resulted in them always being at her fingertips, result for when she was angry enough to whip her children for punishment. Mum said her skin was always covered with lashes, long and thin, centipede like.

She said she will never beat her own children because she understands it is unbearable.

Grandma believed children need to be punished with violence when they didn't obey the adults, if not they won't be a good person when they grow up.

Mum hates violence, but she also believes parents have rights to physically punish their children and grandchildren, or even their pets. She believes it is the way to manage the family, and showing the love. In her case, her only escape from her mum's 'love' was to marry into another family, which she did, hurriedly.

On the 22nd July, I was chatting with mum over the phone, she suggested that It might not be a good idea to return to visit my family this year and that perhaps moving back home in the later future would be unwise too.

I asked her if we really have a grandfather, why he can shoot his grandchildren, she answered it is because he is the Head of the family. But I believe she knows it is not about love, it is only about power. Although she believes that grandad is entitled to do this and that disagreeing with him is wrong, she is now asking me to run away.

媽媽說在她小時候，外婆要她到滕器廠拾一些廢棄的粗滕枝。媽媽討厭這活意。在那間仿如鳥籠般大小的木屋子裡，放滿那些隨手可及的，大大小小，有粗有幼的滕枝，外婆總是在生氣時隨手拿起就揮打在孩子身上。一條條的蜈蚣狀血痕立即誕生於肌膚上。

媽媽說她不會打自己的孩子因為經驗過這種痛楚。


外婆相信沒有被打過的孩子，一定教不好。媽媽討厭暴力，但她也相信，外公外婆可以打父母，父母可以打孩子，孩子可以打寵物，她說這是教導，這是守護權力 管理家庭和表現愛的一種方法。媽媽認為做孩子的是不可反抗的，她知道只有離開那間小木屋，才能夠逃離母親的藤條。只有結婚了。

七月二十二日，我和媽媽通電話，我問為什麼外公可以射擊孩子，她驚訝為什麼我還不了解，急忙地回答因為外公是一家之主，他擁有權力，而且需要權力。當然，她並沒有說這是因為愛。

掛電話前，她特意再三提醒，今年不回家沒關係，嫁到夫家，就是逃離了。